YANEER BAR-YAM — Brother
January 9, 1991 Aureet's funeral
Dear Aureet, family and friends,
We are so close and now a gap in our lives opens before us. An empty space where once you stood part of us.
With you we lived, defining ourselves with respect to you, you with respect to us.
Aureet and Yaneer at his wedding, 1983
Light and flight of butterfly. Intense, beautiful, affecting many, yet too brief. How we wish you'd chosen a longer lived emblem for your identity. A stopped path, your flight abruptly, inconceivably ended.
Your pain, our pain. Now we must adjust; shifting identity, reflecting you in ourselves since you stand no longer with us.
Your joy, our joy as we share your caring, giving dedication.
Aureet's seriousness. We feel the burden of everyone's problems. Acting to help. We cannot now do anything if only we could.
Summer, 1993
Aureet,
When we were small, I am told, you helped me learn everything you learned at school. I loved you deeply and copied you.
I remember our joyous childhood. At home. Traveling in a trailer to the west to national parks, to the north for skiing and to Florida in the south. You were always there. I cannot describe you separately since you were an integral part of my joyous world.
When we were in school I remember you always came home and did your home work very fast. Finishing in half and hour, or an hour and then going out with friends. I would take all day.
We played together and fought with each other. We disagreed about how to make choices, what choices to make. We disagreed because of wisdom and consequences, because we cared. You for me and I for you. You left and came back and left and came back traveling and exploring. I left and came back. When you needed help I came, when I needed help you came. Near or far away.
We started to come together again after a time of being away. Talking and sharing, always caring.
There is a time in January 1991 I do not want to remember.
Then I learned that there is a part of my mind that goes around in a circle asking where are the people close to me, how are they, do they need help/me. Part of me would scream when it asked about you.
At your funeral, from people I didn't know, I learned about you some things I didn't know. How others saw you. How you saw others. From your bookcase I learned how much we shared that I wasn't aware of.
There are people who would say you fit a lifetime into a short time. You achieved your professional lifetime objective. You told me so. You achieved the love and respect of others that many, if they achieve it at all, take a lifetime to achieve. Should we say you did your homework again in a short time and went elsewhere to play? I can't / I want you to be still here. Even as I struggle to match your achievements of living, and helping and contributing I wish you were here. We all know there were other things to do. Children to raise, watch and enjoy. Many other people to help and care for, as those who you touched know and tell.
