Middle Age: Interdependence versus Interpersonal Constriction

Depending on the adequacy of previous developments in personal growth and mature, intimate mutuality, what can emerge during the middle adulthood stage is a participatory appreciation and enjoyment of communal 'interdependence'. This capacity emerges out of the simultaneous awareness of both one's distinct individuality and one's interpersonal connectedness [Kegan, 1982]. In attaining this awareness, the individual becomes capable of recognizing the important, reciprocal 'interdependence' of separate selves within relationships. Moreover, there emerges an active delight in one's individual contributions to relationships, along with a broader sense of generative responsibility to the larger social system [Veroff and Veroff, 1980]. Thus, it is in the context of an emerging sense of communal 'interdependence' that an agentic orientation toward productive 'generativity' [Erikson, 1950] is attained. Engaging in 'generative' endeavors, in turn, strengthens and expands one's sense of 'interdependent' interpersonal connectedness.

Adults who attain a sense of 'interdependence' develop a deeper orientation toward caring for others [Franz and White, 1985], an altruistic concern for establishing and guiding the next generation, and an involvement in 'generative', creative productivity [Erikson, 1950, 1968]. Along with these developments, they experience a continued expansion of interest, growth and delight in all areas of life. They continue to enjoy productive careers and then greet retirement with a sense of freedom [Rollins and Feldmann, 1970], channeling their energies creatively. Their marriages remain vital as their love, intimacy and commitment continue to grow, deepen and mature [Swenson et aI., 1981; Reedy et aI., 1981]. As parents, they take active interest in the growth of their children, facilitating their development and welcoming the transformations in parent-child relationships.

On the other hand, the failure to develop a deeper sense of 'interdependent' human connectedness severely hampers both communion and agency in adulthood. In terms of communion, it can lead to progressive interpersonal impoverishment [Erikson, 1968], rejection of connectedness [Franz and White, 1985] and the estrangement of 'interpersonal constriction'. In terms of agency, it can lead to a diminished capacity for active, 'generative' participation in the social system, along with an attending profound sense of 'stagnation' [Erikson, 1968]. Work and later retirement are faced with anxiety, boredom and depression. Marriages become characterized by progressive distancing, decrease in intimacy and interpersonal impoverishment [Berman and Lief, 1975; Swenson et al., 1981], which can lead to acting-out, divorce or just boredom and stagnation. As parents, there is a failure to recognize and truly care about children's growth and individuality, leading to a failure to promote successful development in the next generation [Erikson, 1968].

The critical communion need which promotes development of 'inter-dependence' and 'generativity' as opposed to 'interpersonal constriction' and 'stagnation' is the need for reciprocity. Tesch [1983], studying adult relationships, found that the experience of 'reciprocity' increases in importance in adulthood. 'Reciprocity' allows for harmony between the yearning for inclusion and the yearning for distinctness. It is within the context of mutually supportive, 'reciprocal' relationships that an individual can be encouraged to develop and grow toward self-actualization. Moreover, it is in the context of 'reciprocal' mutuality that interpersonal connectedness is deepened and a sense of 'interdependence' emerges. Lack of 'reciprocity' results in a sense of estrangement, progressive decline in connectedness and inhibiting constriction, along with an increasing sense of boredom, self-absorption and stagnation.

Reciprocity brings together all the previously developed interpersonal competencies and places a deeper, more profound emphasis on empathy, understanding and compassion; on giving and receiving; on responsibility, dependability and commitment, and on mutual support, trust, openness and acceptance. Beyond acceptance, individuals also come to admire, respect and truly value the unique individuality of another [Tesch, 1983]. All of these together facilitate the emergence of deeper, more vital, reciprocally rewarding, interdependent relationships, involving a healthy mix of autonomy and intimacy, as well as a commitment to continued growth and development [Macklin, 1983]. Moreover, a deeper, more mature form of intimacy, involving the capacity to be absorbed in sharing with another while remaining unique and separate [Buber, 1965], can emerge at this time.

The degree to which 'reciprocity' is attained will profoundly affect all communal and agentic developments of this stage. It determines the degree to which adults channel their energies into 'generative', creative, altruistic endeavors rather than disengaging from others and living increasingly constricted and restricted life styles. Furthermore, the negotiation of this balance will greatly affect the resolution of the next, last stage of agentic and communal psychosocial development.

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