Late Adolescence to Young Adulthood: Belonging versus Alienation

Having internalized an initial sense of self based on participation in the ingroup's homogeneous identity and the experience of mutual acceptance, adolescents now gradually begin to perceive ways in which they differ from the rigid, conformist expectations of the group. It is in this experience, involving the recognition that one is different from others and cannot always meet their expectations, that a new, more individuated sense of identity begins to emerge. Along with this agentic development, the nature of the adolescent's interpersonal relationships is also transformed. The adolescent is now no longer satisfied with rigid conformist expectations which require giving up that which is unique to the self. Instead, he or she begins to seek interpersonal contexts where this newly differentiated sense of self can fit in and 'belong'.

Thus, the primary communion need emerging at this stage is a new interpersonal need for belongingness. This new need to 'belong' [Veroff and Veroff, 1980] is a broader, more complex and more differentiated concept than the previous need to affiliate. In developing a new, more separate sense of an'!', older adolescents no longer simply conform, but rather embark upon actively choosing to join specific systems which support their newly developing, unique sense of self [Kegan, 1982]. They come to value group memberships and reference group reactions in a new way, as reflections and verifications of their emerging identity. It is in this context that individuals tryout different roles and join systems, institutions and ideologies [Erikson, 1968; Kegan, 1982]. In turn, these relationships and memberships serve a vital function in supporting the consolidation of a sense of self, defined through others as well as separate from them [Weiss and Lowenthal, 1975; Selman, 1980]. Therefore, if adolescents do not experience a sense of social 'belongingness', a devastating, profound sense of 'alienation' can emerge and severely hamper further development.

Once again agentic individuation serves to transform the nature of relationships, and relationships profoundly affect further development in both agency and communion. Seeking to 'belong' while still maintaining a distinct identity, older adolescents struggle with issues of conflicting loyalties and responsibilities. This contributes to the next stage's capacity for commitment. As older adolescents become increasingly sensitive to psychological complexity and multivariate needs, they are confronted with plurality, diversity, ambiguity and conflict. This requires the development of a new capacity for tolerance of both themselves and othersin relationships. Moreover, as the more individuated adolescent participates actively in relationships, he or she becomes capable of coordinating mutuality and recognizing dependency. As such, the earlier orientation toward simply pleasing or gaining approval in relationships can be transformed into a new, more mature ethic of responsibility and care through mutual helping and support [Gilligan, 1982]. Thus, increasing individuation transforms interpersonal connectedness, and a variety of new interpersonal competencies is promoted.

All of these elements come into play in identity formation, career exploration, social participation and interpersonal relationships of this stage. A very important interpersonal development of this period is the engagement in heterosexual dyadic relationships, including dating, sexual exploration and romantic love. A variety of interpersonal experiences in the preceding stages contributes in important ways to these relationships, including the nature of dependency attachments in the first stages, the negotiation of the oedipal 'romance' in the preschool stage, the juvenile's experiences of idealizing hero worship and the young adolescent's experiences in dyadic 'chumships' as well as in their 'crushes' and infatuations [Friedlander and Morrison, 1980; Farber, 1980]. All of these, along with the general resolution of previous communion stages, profoundly influence the shape of romantic relationships.

Although older adolescents and young adults endeavor to establish more substantial romantic relationships at this stage, they have not yet developed a full sense of identity necessary for the next stage's capacity for intimacy [Erikson, 1950, 1968]. Erikson [1968] states that adolescent love essentially involves projecting and clarifying one's self-image in order to attain a sense of identity. It should be added that it is also an effort to explore new avenues of communion and interpersonal connectedness. In the context of these early romantic relationships, older adolescents practice and play at intimacy, thereby developing important interpersonal competencies.

Early romantic relationships tend to take the form of intense, infatuated, idealizing absorptions [Friedlander and Morrison, 1980] strongly related to earlier dependency needs [Rubin, 1970]. This infatuated style of loving involves the merging fusion of diffuse boundaries, much as Erikson [1968] suggested. The adolescent, having not yet developed a distinct, differentiated, realistic sense of self, is incapable of real, sustained intimacy with a realistically perceived separate other.

However, as a sense of self continues to emerge, interpersonal fusion can be experienced as threatening to a fragile sense of identity [Erikson, 1950]. In these cases, fusion is avoided and relationships become characterized by more formalized, stereotyped and traditional role prescription [Erikson, 1968]. Frequently marriages at this stage become another way of meeting the older adolescent's need to join and 'belong' to institutions and as such tend to be rolefocused as prescribed by these institutions. Still, it is in the context of these relationships that the adolescent's sense of identity can be further consolidated along with the interpersonal experiences which facilitate the development of the next stage's capacity for intimacy. Thus, having these relationships along with an attending sense of 'belongingness', as opposed to 'alienation', determines later adult development in both agency and communion.

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