Preschool Age: Interactive Association versus Egocentric Disregard

Erikson [1950] describes the next, preschool stage in terms of the developmental task of 'initiative' versus 'guilt' which essentially conveys its agentic developments and the corresponding emergence of more aggressive, directed action. This new capacity for purposive action impacts on the young child's communal development and facilitates the emergence of a new social assertiveness in relationships [Veroff and Veroff, 1980]. Morevover, the child's increasing ability to differentiate self from other evolves into a capacity for perceiving others as psychologically separate persons with whom the child can associate and interact. Thus, along with increasing agentic activity and differentiation, the young child develops new communal abilities, including a more interactive, dynamic capacity for relationships.

Taking these elements into account in describing the transformations along the communion pathway, the interpersonal development characteristic of the preschool years involves the emergence of a new capacity for 'interactive association'. This transformation in interpersonal relating is marked by a progressive shift from the toddler's involvement in parallel play to the preschooler's newly developing capacity for associative, interactive play, which evolves in the next stage into cooperative group play [Parten and Newall, 1943]. The term 'interactive association' is used here to describe the nature of the preschooler's interpersonal relating, differentiating it from the preceding stage's attachment and the next stage's capacity for bidirectional social relatedness.

At the preschool stage, the child is not yet capable of bilateral, mutual consideration; instead, relationships are seen as useful for pragmatic, unilateral assistance in fulfilling the child's own needs [Selman, 1980; Hoffman, 1976]. Hence, the child's perspective on relationships is still essentially egocentric [Franz and White, 1985]. However, interactive association with others challenges the child's egocentric tendencies and can facilitate early friendships [Selman, 1980], empathy [Hoffman, 1976] and sharing [Fraiberg, 1959]. Lack of supportive interaction inhibits the development of pro-social behaviors, including the communal ability to care and share, contributing to the estrangement of 'egocentric disregard' and embeddedness in omnipotent fantasies and aggressive rivalries.

The primary communion need which strongly influences the successful attainment of 'interactive association', as opposed to 'egocentric disregard', is the interpersonal need for attention. This need for 'attention' grows out of the increasing realization not only that there is a separate other, but also that this other can react and respond to the self. The young child then actively seeks out reactions in a new quest for 'attention', recognition and responsive support. The never-ending 'why?' question of the four-year-old is a classic example of this, in that it is often not so much that the child wants to know the answer, but that the child revels in the fact hat this simple word can be used to elicit all sorts of interesting responses from others. In seeking out these interpersonal reactions, provided they are met with appropriate 'attention', the preschooler's capacity for dynamic, interactive association and social dialogue is enhanced. Furthermore, it is in the context of these interactions that the child's agentic initiative can gain the support and attention necessary for successful development.

In a study by Baumrind [1968] it was found that children who are met with supportive, appropriate attention develop positive, energetic self-assertion, selfreliance, self-control and cheerful, friendly relations with peers. On the other hand, children whose bids for attention are met with punitive, non-supportive responses develop a tendency toward aggressive, impulsive behavior or apprehensive, passive withdrawal. Thus, adequate appropriate attentiveness is essential in the development of both agentic and communal behaviors at the preschool stage, and the two pathways are found to be closely interrelated once again.

It is in the context of the youngster's associative playfulness and social assertiveness in seeking 'attention' in relationships that tendencies toward 'egocentric disregard' and self-gratifying impulsivity [Kegan, 1982] are challenged and the capacity for 'interactive association' is promoted. Moreover, it is in these relationships that agentic initiative is enhanced by supportive attention. In addition, both agentic and communion pathways are fundamentally and dynamically involved in the negotiation of the oedipal conflict with its aggressive rivalries and associated guilt [Erikson, 1950]. Moreover, the resolution of this conflict has a strong formative influence on both further individuation and future relationships. Thus, once again, a more complete understanding of development emerges only with the elaboration of both agency and communion strands and their mutual interaction.

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