School Age: Social Relatedness versus Self-Insistence

Entering the school years, the child develops new agentic capacities, which Erikson [1950, 1968] depicts in his 'industry' versus 'inferiority' stage. However, it must be emphasized again that there is no agentic development without a corresponding communion development, no individuation without a context of connection, and each further differentiation emerges within a new 'culture of embeddedness' [Kegan, 1982].The capacity for industry emerges within the context of entering the larger social world of the school with its new interpersonal demands. This interpersonal context and the transformations therein must be elaborated in conveying a full understanding of the developments of this stage. Hence, the communion stage of 'social relatedness' versus 'self-insistence' is proposed to describe the nature of school children's interpersonal development.

Sullivan [1953] emphasizes the importance of this expanding social network in development, stating simply that 'the juvenile era can scarcely be exaggerated, since it is the actual time for becoming social' [Sullivan, 1953, p. 227]. Upon entering school, the child encounters an expanding interpersonal network, including the increasing importance of peer relationships. This requires the development of new interpersonal competencies in response to the attending new, diverse social demands. In the context of these new demands, the child comes to recognize that subjective experiences differ and must be taken into account in the mutual regulation of relationships. In doing so, the child now becomes capable of engaging in true cooperative behavior [Piaget, 1952] and reciprocal, mutual consideration in relationships [Selman, 1980; Hoffman, 1976]. Thus, a new capacity for interpersonal awareness and more mature 'social relatedness' is facilitated.

As children develop an increasing ability to recognize and take into account other people's perspectives and needs, they also come to realize that others respond to the self in a like manner. This leads to a growing awareness of subjective, psychological and emotional experience, along with the realization that others can subjectively react to and evaluate the self. Consequently, the child becomes increasingly more sensitized to the reactions of others, and reactions of pleasure and approval begin to acquire a unique, powerful, incentive value [Veroff and Veroff, 1980]. Thus, in the context of a new awareness and need for psychological and emotional support, the school-aged child develops a new communal need, the need for approval. This new need for 'approval' and being liked by companions further facilitates evolving interpersonal competencies and the developing capacity for 'social relatedness'. In addition, the need for 'approval' also serves to mitigate against the estrangement of this stage, namely its 'self-insistence'.

According to Selman [1980], although relationships at this stage move toward bilateral, reciprocal and mutually sharing partnerships, they are still largely oriented toward serving the child's own needs. This self-serving, self-focused quality is aptly captured in Kegan's [1982] 'imperial balance' and Loevinger's [1976] 'opportunistic' stage. However, in the child's growing involvement in interpersonal relatedness, persistent self-interest is gradually channeled into the service of others, particularly in obtaining common goals and psychological rewards such as approval. This transformation is marked by an age-related progression from egocentric to more sociocentric expectations in relationships [Bigelow, 1975]. In this way, the need for 'approval' in an expanding field of interpersonal connectedness serves to mitigate against 'self-insistence' and promotes cooperative, bilateral 'social relatedness'.

Not only is the communal need for 'approval' vital in negotiating the balance between these two poles, it also serves an equally important function in agentic development. The development of 'industry' versus 'inferiority' [Erikson, 1950] is predicated not only on actual successes and failures, but also on the interpersonal responses with which the child's productions are received. In other words, the negotiation of this agentic balance is also determined by the communal context in which it occurs and the degree to which the child's endeavors are met with interpersonal 'approval'.

Once again it is found that communion development plays an important role in the development of agency. Correspondingly, the child's agentic efforts impact on communion development, since these endeavors facilitate engagement in an expanding sphere of relationships and further foster the necessity for interpersonal skill development. It is often in the context of the child's efforts at industry that self-interest must be subordinated in cooperative endeavors to achieve common goals. Thus, agency and communion developments interact dialectically, each giving rise to and facilitating the emergence of the other.

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