AUREET'S THEORY OF INTERPERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
Old Age: Interpersonal Acceptance versus Relational Distress
The last stage of the life cycle brings with it the task of dealing with the issues of aging, illness and death. In facing one's own mortality and potential separation from the social system, one must come to terms with one's life as it has been lived, with living out one's remaining years and with dying. All of these issues can be faced with a sense of distress and despair, or with a serene sense of acceptance. Attaining a balance between these two is the underlying issue in the concluding developments of both agentic and communal pathways.
In terms of agentic development, it is at this stage that one consolidates one's own individual life cycle and emerges with a sense of 'ego integrity' versus 'despair' [Erikson, 1950]. In terms of communion, the final stage brings about a culmination of one's interpersonal development as well as the task of dealing with the many changes occurring in one's interpersonal connections. Capturing the nature of this communal task, the last stage is termed 'interpersonal acceptance' versus 'relational distress'.
Facing mortality, both one's own and that of significant others, brings with it the ultimate challenge to one's sense of connectedness. It is at this stage of life that individuals must face and come to terms with many losses and changes. In dealing with these changes they must simultaneously develop the capacity to let go and the capacity to reconnect despite loss. It is in this context that the adequacy of prior communion development plays a central role. Those who have evolved adequate communal competencies will be able to continue maintaining a sense of connectedness, while simultaneously preparing for ultimate, final separation. Morever, they can develop a tranquil sense of 'interpersonal acceptance' regarding the changes occurring in their interpersonal sphere. This experience, in turn, enables them to continue engaging in active, vital, satisfying and fulfilling relationships throughout the last years of life, despite potential, and real, losses.
On the other hand, individuals who have not evolved adequate communal connectedness may be unable to overcome serious losses or negotiate the changes in relationships. This further inhibits the attainment of an attitude of 'interpersonal acceptance' and results in 'relational distress'. This 'relational distress' may be manifested in a number of ways. Some older adults may withdraw from interpersonal connections, resulting in lonely isolation, impoverished living and depression. Others may desperately hold on and cling to others, which is often manifested in intrusive neediness and equally unsatisfying relationships. Still others may experience a great deal of resentment, bitterness and frustration in relationships, leading to complaints and demands or hostile rejection of others. In all these cases, the relational distress further disrupts interpersonal connectedness and causes additional difficulties in resolving the issues of the final stage of life.
In facing these issues, the communal need of this last stage is the need for companionship. It is the need to be accompanied and supported in one's final years, the need for continued interpersonal connectedness while facing losses and separations. 'Companionship' with peers, significant loved ones and the younger generation serves to maintain communal connectedness, promotes involvement in active living and facilitates continued appreciation and enjoyment of one's last years. Moreover, these relationships also provide opportunities for useful productivity, contributing to a continued sense of selfworth. Thus, 'companionship' during old age serves as an important source of rejuvenating vitality, growth and fulfillment while effectively mitigating against distressing loneliness and despair.
Clearly, interpersonal relationships serve a vital function in determining the quality of life during old age. It is within the context of these relationships and one's continued feelings of connectedness that a sense of 'interpersonal acceptance' can emerge. It is also within the context of this connectedness and the continued experience of usefulness, selffulfillment and active engagement in the social system that a sense of 'ego integrity' [Erikson, 1950] can be consolidated. Once again, communal and agentic strands of development can be seen to be intricately related. Indeed, in the final resolution of one's life cycle both communal connectedness and agentic action serve equally important roles. Successful communal and agentic integration enables the elderly individual to cope with issues of aging and mortality with a minimum of distress and a maximum of serene acceptance. Old age and death can then be faced with tranquility, wisdom and a 'detached yet active concern with life bounded by death' [Erikson, 1968, p. 40].
