Toddler Age; Secure Attachment versus Fear of Abandonment

Emerging out of infancy, the young toddler develops new agentic and communal abilities. In terms of agentic development, the young toddler now becomes capable of asserting a new sense of 'autonomy' and will [Erikson, 1950]. In terms of communion development, the toddler becomes capable of a new sense of interpersonal connection, namely a more fully evolved capacity for 'attachment'.

In its use here, 'attachment' refers to a deeper, more substantial capacity for interpersonal connectedness based on an increasing ability to discriminate self from other and the achievement of object- and self-constancy [Piaget, 1952]. With these new abilities the infant's earlier, more diffuse bonding is transformed into a more differentiated, selective and stable sense of 'attachment'. This capacity for attachment is then further consolidated during the toddler years and, depending on the nature of the youngster's interpersonal experiences, a measure of security or anxiety in relationships is attained.

These two developments, agentic autonomy and communal attachment, are intricately intertwined, particularly since successful development in autonomy is heavily dependent upon the development of 'secure attachment'. Research has shown [Bowlby, 1969; Ainsworth et al., 1974] that it is when children develop secure emotional attachments that they manifest an adaptive balance between seeking and enjoying contact with primary caretakers and using them as a secure base from which to explore the environment. Thus, it is only in the context of the reliable, predictable availability of caretakers and the attending emergence of a new, secure sense of attachment that successful attempts at autonomy are facilitated [Franz and White, 1985].

Furthermore, agentic autonomy directly impacts on communion development by seriously testing the security of the toddler's developing attachments. Toddlers, in the effort to gain control over bodily functions [Erikson, 1950, 1968], begin to assert a new sense of control and willfullness in relationships. They become capable of active participation in giving or withholding, complying or resisting. This new capacity for independent action provides a strong challenge to the toddler's sense of security in those relationships and can lead to a 'fear of abandonment' if these bids for independence are not received appropriately.

Thus toddlers, at this time, develop a new interpersonal need beyond basic responsiveness, namely the communal need for acceptance. What toddlers need now is a recognition, acknowledgement and 'acceptance' of their newly emerging self. Otherwise, their efforts at self-assertion lead to 'fear of abandonment', threaten 'secure attachment', as well as inhibit the development of successful autonomy resulting in feelings of 'shame and doubt' [Erikson, 1950, 1968]. In other words, both 'secure attachment' and successful 'autonomy' are predicated on the interpersonal acceptance with which the newly emerging self is received, as well as on the continued nurturing responsiveness which keeps the self safe and secure. The two- year-old's ever-present 'no!' is a 'declaration of independence, but there is no intention to unseat the government [Fraiberg, 1959, p. 65] since that government is still greatly needed and desired.

Hence, if the toddler's newfound spirit of independence is met with 'acceptance', supportive acknowledgement and guidance, the newly emerging self can form strong 'secure attachments' without 'fear of abandonment'. Moreover, the toddler can become an active, dynamic participant in the give and take of relationships. On the other hand, lack of 'acceptance' can lead to passivity, 'fear of abandonment' and inhibited or ambivalent attachment. Thus, the toddler's reception in the interpersonal context plays a profound role in the nature of developing attachments and the quality of further communion development.

As can be seen, the developments of this stage offer a particularly clear portrayal of the interdependent relationship between communion and connectedness and agency and individuation pathways. There is no agency development without a corresponding development in communion, there is no individuation without a context of relationships, and both agentic and communal developments are heavily determined by the extent to which specific interpersonal needs are met. Consequently, in conjunction with Erikson's [1950] agentic developmental task of 'autonomy' versus 'shame' and 'doubt', the interpersonal developmental task of 'secure attachment' versus 'fear of abandonment' is proposed to account for the issues encountered by the toddler along the communion pathway of development. Furthermore, it has been shown that both autonomy and attachment are intricately related, as well as mutually dependent upon the degree of interpersonally based 'acceptance' experienced by the toddler. By highlighting these communal elements and their dynamic nature, a more comprehensive, inclusive understanding of development emerges.

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